Go Back....

Didnt know i wud be feeling this way.....
Something that i had been wanting so long....something which i have been loving all the way......I just want to Go back now becoz i feel may be i m not worth it.....It is too good for me.....and may be....just may be....i shud come back!!!
Dont know if anybdy else has felt this way....its new for me too.....

figuring.......

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past,stop planning the future,stop figuring out how we feel,stop deciding what we want,and just see what happens."

It was almost till yesterday when i felt i was sure of what i want, sure of where i was heading to, sure of may be what is going to happen in another 4-5years from now.....but no matter how u plan your life, life has something else planned for u.
We feel we are in complete control of our lives when suddenly like a flash it comes in front of your eyes....its all a farce

Still trying to figure out wat is happening to me.......May be i shud just run away from everyone...the one....(especially this facebook)and sit quitely all alone for somedays till i am myself.
May be i would.....

Sometimes thats wat all one can do...

unknowingly!

Sometimes even if you don't intend to hurt anybody yet u do hurt the person whom u really care for and never wanted to hurt.
Just a couple of days before the SPJain interview....THE INTERVIEW...and m not even thinking abt it.Have i gone crazy or have i messed up my priorities big time...Or have i made a new list unknowingly....don't know.Something ws wrong.
I always ask God..."Why me!" and now m sick of asking him...
Have left everything on time...thats the best i can do now.

its 11:53PM!

I dont believe I am here at the bloggers lane aftr almost a yr.Thnks to my work,my FB addiction,my MBA preps and all the other activities that have kept me busy.So must be wondering wat the hell am I doing here now..specially when its a valentines eve.Well....actually dont have anyone to wish @12...not that its a budday or something, but my roomies are all awake!!I wonder what new wud they have to speak even after talking for 9hrs in a day over phn with the same person :P.Its good to see so much love in the air...but at times it makes u feel 'what the hell am i doing here all alone', especially when u r away from home.The GD PI sessions and preps shud keep me all occupied but its not that working!I feel something is wrong with me currently, as if life is chasing me...and I am chasing something.I know, sounds all confusing...cant help...as even I am confused rite now....as something is changing in me.
GOT TO FIX IT!
Btw...a very happy valentines day to whoever is reading this...I am sure even u dont have anybody else to wish ;)

Is Kolkata a DEAD city??

Shocked or surprised? Well I don't know about you, but I am both at the very thought of writing a blog on this topic. Don't think I have lost my mind or something....I am writing this blog with a complete normal state of mind (I know some of my frnds will not think so).I shouldn't say normal..coz rite now m disgusted and very angry seeing my city.
Two months prior to my departure I did take my flight tickets, thinking it wud be cheaper the earlier i take. Have irritated all my project mates telling them each day how excited I was to go to my own city, my home town after 2 years. I did lot of shopping too coz I wanted to look my best in front of my relatives, school and college frnds , as I was about to meet them after a long time.
The flight from Mumbai to Kolkata was a very different experience for me as there were bongs sitting around me, talking in Bengali. Staying in Mysore/Hyderabad/Mangalore for the past two years, such kind of a thing was little weird for me as most of the times there were people talking in all languages other than beng.
The taxi ride from airport to Behala didnt influence me to write this blog as it was just the very first day I had experienced such a huge traffic jam after 2 years. I didn’t pay much attention to the traffic when I got diverted to each and every wall of the City which was decorated with either CMP/Congress symbols or their candidate names. I again tried not to pay attention to these and thought of relaxing for a while when my taxi got stuck in a water logged lane. It had rained only for an hour and the water was knee deep. Somehow I managed to reach home.
The rosogollas, pantuas, pabda macher jhol, eelish mach ,misti doi, aalu bhaja, aalu posto, aamer chaatni.... all tried to keep me busy for a few days and away from the thought that where is this city heading to. But that couldn’t happen for long. The reality came in front of me again the day I stepped outside Vishal Apartment. The place called Manton, which is 10 mins walk from my house, took 30mins by bus. You must be wondering y did I board the bus at all. Well that too has a reason. Even the little inches which were left to walk at the side of the road were preoccupied by garbage! The hot and humid temperature made life even more miserable.
The next day I almost had a fight with a friend's friend whom I didn’t even know and I started narrating them how disappointed I was seeing my city in this state. The guy replied me "its good like this only......ekhono ekhane det takar cha pawa jaye"(still we get Rs1:30/- tea here in Kolkata) and I told blatantly on his face....."for such kind of mindset the city is still in a mess”. Thankfully he didn't punch me. Thought about it later and felt...it’s not his fault. Even I used to think the same way when I was in Kolkata 2 yrs back. I guess there is something in the air which gives Kolkattans a 'laid back attitude'! All people seemed to be worried about is- will Argentina or Brazil win? I smiled at them thinking what are they going to get even if they win. Maradonna/ Pele/ Messi......they dont even know.....so many Kolkattans pray for them..fight with each other......go around the city with Argentina/Brazil flags when they win.
I guess this is what it makes it sooooooo different from other cities. I had started my blog with lot of enthu and anger....planning to write about the roads/lack of good colleges/lack of companies/industries/our useless politicians...but deep down inside I too feel that let it be the way it is......as its the only city where u can still find tram. Its the only city where u can still find people spending hours and hours in 'adda'...its the only city with more number of celebrations than the number of months in a year.....its the only city where u can find a full meal getting served at the side of the lane with just Rs15/-......its the only city where people still have time to ask u how u r.....its the only city where people r not that conscious of their facts n figures ;)......its the only city which celebrates when Maradonna gives a goal.....yess....its the only city...."jekhane ekhono det takar cha pawa jayei".
As long as Kolkattans have the spirit of enjoying each and every day.....each and every moment even in those huge traffic jams, long queues (for autos/taxis/anything), hot rising temperatures, dirty roads, portholes..............we can definitely not term Kolkata a DEAD city A city is made of its people and we the Kolkattans are always gonna keep it LIVE.
So as my blog says.........Life is beautiful.....i can say.....So is my hometown Kolkata beautiful. :)

Yet again.....m here at the bloggers zone.I know i am blogging after a looooooong looooooong time.Dont know y i was absent from here....may be becoz i didnt hav much time(thts the only excuse i can think of as of now)
Rite now m sitting at mangalore....yes, m at mangalore......I never thought in my wildest dreams tht i would be in mangalore (for more than 8 months now).
I always tell my frnds...my life is very "adventerous"....as things keep on n on happening in my life.I can easily write a book on my life as these folks like Chetan Bhagat n Ravinder Singh have. Rite now m reading a book "I too had a love story" by Ravinder Singh( an Infoscion too) which is inspriring me more to write a book. Someday i believe i would :).
Lot of things have changed in my life from the last time I had blogged.I was in Hyderabad then. After that,went to mysore for my training at Infosys. Infosys mysore is like an 8th wonder of the world and the training there was equally awsome. I enjoyed each n every part of it. We never thought what time it was or which day it was....what all we actually understood was....compre,exams,modules,retest,recompre,handson :).
Our batch also had an extended training and some of us were sent to Hyderabad for it.My home being in H yderabad...made me feel lucky that time. I even started dreaming of getting my posting there. The training in hyderabad was good....but not as good as tht in mysore for me...coz i had to leave my best pals in mysore. The only good thing was,every weekend i could go home. Yes,i used to go home on weekends n other days stayed in ECC coz my home was 2hrs from office.
In Hyderbad too, i made some really good frnds, which i realized only after leaving them. Most of them being marathi hav made me learn a few marathi words ...n the very first word being.."CHYAMAILA"(please pardon me)!.People say,if you get to learn any new language from your frnds,you always start with a slang. As i never use slangs,n came to know about the meaning of the word only after learning it....it was kind of embarassing for me as i had used it on a girl unknowingly....just to show tht i too knew marathi :P. But my frnds keep telling me "its a verrrrrrrry common word yaar....chalta hai....even Kareena has used it in Jab We Met(in different language though)".
Anyway.....training in Hyderabad too got over and with that my hopes of getting posting in Hyderabad also ended.I came to know i was posted in Mangalore....a place about which i had absolutely no idea....except for one thing tht it sounded similar to Bangalore :P.
Tears didnt stop rolling down from my eyes the day our postings were announced. People tried to console me a lot but more than going away from my home the fact which made me sad was again i had to leave my frnds and go to a new place with all strangers.I was literally fed up of leaving my frnds n shifting to different places as that is wat all i was doing rite from my childhood days. As my dad is in a tranferrable job, we had to shift from one place to the other every 3 to 4 yrs.
Had no option and so with a positive thinking i started my journey to mangalore...thinking again of making new frnds.This post is not about my life in mangalore coz will write about it in my next post.....instead its about all my frnds whom i miss here BADLY. I just want to thank them for tolerating me n being there for me whenever i needed them.
So now,for the first time i would start naming them......
Thanks to Mahima,Sunil bhaiya,Nivedita and Ruchi who were all the time there with me in Mysore. Guys you were my strength there and you all r the only reason y i enjoyed my training days.
Some more frnds who were with me in mysore are Rika,Shashank,Kushal,Anamitra,Sujoy,Chitralekha,Gosawi,Harpreet,
Ajay.
The frnds i made in Hyderabad are...Kedar,Peeyush,Gaurav,Aniket,Parikshit,Laxmikant,Vikrant,
Supriya,Umran,Ashutosh,Mayank,Ritika,Ashi,Nisha,Melisa
Thanks a lottttttttt to all of you!! This post is mainly for you all, just to say.....I miss you all :)
(Sorry if i have missed a few names :)....it only could be becoz you r too special to be mentioned!! :P)
Anyway....me signing off now....hopefully would be back in the bloggers lane verrrrry soon as a lot of things do keep happening in my life.......so much tht i dont get time to pen them down ;).
Ciao!

1st December of my life-MEI JANU NA

Kyun har subah ke baad raat aaye
Kyun mein royun toh uparwala muskurayei
Kyun kabhi kabhi zindagi tham si jayei
Mei jaanu na....

Kyun zindagi har waqt us mor par le ayei
Jahan do pal ki khushi peeche hazaaron gum chor jayei
Kyun mein na ban saku won pannchi
Jo sukoon ki neend payei
Kyun,
Mei jaanu na....

Kyun jispeh bhi bharosa kiya
Usi neh gum ke siwa kuch na dia
Kyun har baar fir bhi yeh galati maine kia
Kyun,
Mein jaanu na....

Kyun laga ki kuch toot sa gaya
Kyun aisa laga ki tu choot sa gaya
Kyun tu mujhse itna rooth sa gaya
Kyun har baadal kala lage
Mei jaanu na....

Zindagi mujhe us mor peh layi
Kisi apne ne di gum ki duhayi
Vishwaas ki har neev tooti
Upar walei seh mei bhi poochi
"kyun har baar, mein hee kyun"
Toh bas muskuraya aur bole "Mei jaanu na...."